Some breathing room
But thanks to YOU I now have some working capital
with which to do something.
I don't have enough to find a new place, and I
have to be out by Tuesday. I can't see how
I can accomplish everything I need to by then.
My newer friend EM took me to get boxes today.
I went out for shipping tape, and there I was in CVS.
My stress level is so great, I had trouble with basic math,
trying to figure out the best deal.
"Buy one and get the 2nd at Half Price!"
To hell with that! I just grabbed one randomly.
I went for Chinese take-out, and started crying as
I tried to place my order. The poor kid had no idea.
I got some tea and tried to cry softly, facing away,
so no one could hear.
He gave me three fortune cookies.
I haven't open them.
Baby Steps
I know I must focus on baby steps...
one ... thing...at..a...time...
My problems are so great, I have been really
considering riding my bike into the woods and
never coming back! Everyone has to go sometime.
Donate my body to the coyotes.
But then I would be letting down all of 124x of YOU,
who gave me your friendship, faith, kindness,
appreciation, and support over the years.
I KNOW the Earth is hurting.
I KNOW I have skills & talents no one else has.
I KNOW I have a lot more I can do to help people,
protect water, protect the Earth.
I know the Earth needs all of us.
I'm reminded of this quote by one of my friends (and heroes):
"It is time now to play the save the world symphony. I don't know what instrument you hold, but you need to play it as best as you can and find your place in the score. You don't have to play a solo here. But this is our task now.... No matter how difficult this is ..., we're going to have to..." -- Dr Sandra Steingraber, Bill Moyers & Co, 4/19/2013
So despite my tears of utter exasperation,
I will promise to try to persevere.
FOR YOU, and for the Earth, and for God.
10,000 thanks to a few of my Super Donors
who have gone WAY above and beyond.
You know who you are!!
(a few: BA, VW, MS, DM, AM, SM, LM,
I can't name you all!
Sorry if I missed you)
So as of Tuesday, I am homeless.
I have no plan, no place to go, no car.
Maybe a miracle will appear before then.
My emergency ditch-out plan is to stuff as
much as I can into storage, but w/o a car or
someone with a truck, even this seems impossible.
Anyway, again... THANK YOU!!
I do not know where I would be without you.
I'm shutting off my computer now.
I don't know when I'll be back online.
(I'll still will have access via my phone for a while)
Please wish me luck, send good vibes, best intentions
(or maybe a silent prayer if you are into that)
BH
May You and All Beings
be Happy and Free from Suffering!
(ancient Buddhist prayer, "metta")